Do you ever notice that you are better with people at work than you are with your family? At work we are usually more thoughtful and careful.  At home we just say things without thinking much about how we say them or the impact they might have.  Two things might help:...

Good question. And a frequent question from parents.  First of all, I’m not sure. Second, I do have some things you might try. Third, never, ever give up trying. This is one place where settling for less than what you want isn’t an attractive option. Here...

Recently a young neighborhood girl walked into our yard and announced proudly and loudly, “I’m eight!” It was clear that eight was a significant milestone for her. It reminded me of a young boy in a fast food restaurant. He and his father were in...

When my daughter, Amy, was about 12, she came to me with this observation: “Dad, you probably know this already, but I just counted, and the last twelve times we’ve talked, it has been about homework.” Then she smiled and said, “And Dad, that’s not much of a...

When Jesse and Amy were in junior high, I had the privilege of doing a parenting workshop with psychologist Cathy Pinter.  Cathy had determined in her work with teenagers that kids need five things to be resilient in the world: They need to know they are loved, they...

I’m always moved when I stop, get down on the floor with a child, and then just wait. It’s like the child is a conversation just waiting to happen. All I need to do is crystallize the moment by providing the gift of full attention. I’ve also trained myself to listen...

Cindy and I are fans the television series NCIS. We’ve taken note of what are called “Gibbs’ Rules,” laid down by the show’s lead character, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, for being an agent and dealing with life. (See http://www.gibbsrules.com.) Among...

Learn to communicate so your players feel more capable, valuable, and loved. You must see capability when there is no evidence…see value when evidence is to the contrary…and see what’s loveable even when it’s hard to find.  —Tim Gallwey (paraphrased) It is easy...