The other day a neighbor, Sarah, who is 17, came walking down the block, and we had a brief conversation that reminded me how remarkable she is. “Hi, Sarah, out getting some exercise?” “Hi. Not really. My dad is being a poor loser right now, so I’m giving him some...

Asking What do you think? is one way to give your kids more of a sense that they have influence in the family. But sometimes “I don’t know” is all you get in response. One very powerful way to encourage a more thoughtful reply is to start the conversation with a set...

One of my favorite contributors to the book is Ronald Heifetz, who changed his work schedule so he could pick up his children after school. “I run to my car. I drive like a madman. I get to their school…. And then out come the stories, stories I never used to...

Recently, Cindy and I attended a Cardinals baseball game in St. Louis. Just in front of us sat a father with his young kids, a girl and a boy. The girl, who was probably about five, had her baseball hat and her glove, ready for anything. At one point, the following...

 This week in class we were working on the idea that sometimes we say things for which we need to apologize, and that it’s important to learn how to say “I’m sorry.” After class, Luke came up to me and related this story: Last night after my 15-year-old son’s soccer...

There is an old saying: If you want to change your kids, change their playgrounds and their friends. The point is that if you put kids into a different environment, they will be influenced by that new environment. I think this holds true for the conversations in which...

This morning I overheard a mother asking her 5- and 6-year-old boys how they would like to handle their 30 minutes of reading. “Would you like to do 30 minutes at one time or 10 minutes at three times?”   So, the decision isn’t just about whether or not they...

For a long time I thought I had these flaws—things about myself that weren’t consistent with the person I wanted to be. I would say nasty things to my kids. I would have judgmental thoughts about others. Even worse, I would say them. I’d lie to my boss about having...

“Paul, your book Ten Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids has taught me different ways to approach both my 5-year-old son and my fiancé. “Recently, my son, Luke, has begun to play T-ball and he loves it. But he wants to be the catcher, and the coach says he just isn’t...

I love the idea of shifting from distraction to attention. The following was shared with me by a mom of three who found simple attention to have a big impact. If I am working one-on-one with my employees, I can listen to them with no distractions. But at home? I was...