Learn to communicate so your players feel more capable, valuable, and loved. You must see capability when there is no evidence…see value when evidence is to the contrary…and see what’s loveable even when it’s hard to find.  —
Tim Gallwey (paraphrased)

It is easy to come up with things that we like about our kids. And every once in a while, it’s useful and fun to push the boundaries of our awareness by stretching to come up with more than just a few.

I love going for 19 when I think about things for which I might acknowledge Cindy, our kids, and the grandkids. Something magical seems to occur for me around 12 or 13, when I need to dig deeper, reflect further, and find new words to express what I like about someone I love.

Here are some examples:

I love…

  • the way you look out for your sisters
  • your willingness to express yourself when asked
  • the way you think
  • that you notice friends who might be feeling left out

If you play with this idea, two things will happen. First, you will begin to notice more things about each of your children that you appreciate. Second, you will remain in touch with how great they are, which helps keep any problems you have with them in perspective.

And here’s another reason: If you give them your list, they will be able to reread it whenever they are in need of a hug!

On our website you’ll find several designs for cards that you can download for free and use to give your kids a perpetual hug.


“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”  –e. e. cummings

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This was originally posted last year, and it’s a message that bears repeating!